5 months and counting....

After my last post I was thinking about why I write this blog....

- when I started I wanted to document my journey because it's amazing to look back

- it was a neat way for my friends to keep in touch with my training and how I'm doing

- it's very therapeutic to put my thoughts and feelings in to writing (especially when I'm writing race reports.)

I still don't know how many people actually read this, but I am always amazed when someone sends me an email or mentions that it's time to write an update, or I read your blog...

The one thing that I will never get used to is hearing the words that strike me to the core - you inspire me. I don't think anyone ever really sees themselves as an inspiration, but I definitely never saw myself in that light. When I began running, I had tried various activities to try and improve my lifestyle but quit each time. I had gained 100lbs since graduating from high school, and was dealing health issues. I LOVED to eat (and still do! you'll never hear the word diet come out of my mouth) and just didn't have the willpower to resist the foods I enjoy. 

I would have more money than Oprah if I could ever figure out what switch was flipped inside of me that made me change, and how to flip that switch in other people. Since I haven't figured it out, I will get goosebumps every time I hear those words, because each time I hope that I somehow helped them flip their switch or dig a little deeper. What people don't realize is that they are also inspiring me to keep reaching higher. I do this for me but I also strive to live my life by example. If I can do this, anyone can do this! 

Anyway, this long wandering post was just supposed to be a huge thank you to everyone that reached out with support and a kick in the a$$! I will never take for granted the people that have come along my little journey. 

Now for the update....

My coach looked at my comments from that week of training and determined that the heartrate zones are too high. In his words I should be able to do one of these endurance workouts everyday. Last week went much better because I trained based on perceived effort and used the HR monitor as a guide, not gospel. I know I'm inherently lazy so I don't trust my instincts when it comes to perceived effort. I got through 13:35 hrs of training last week, which was my peak weeks for the half ironman last year. I was looking forward to pushing through this week and enjoying rest week next week. Unfortunately training got derailed when I came down with a really sore throat that has gone in to my ears. I know training while sick is never a good plan so I have taken a few days off. I am fine with it - way too far out from race day to worry about missing a few days. I know it's important to look after my health. 

Thanks again everyone for reading and supporting me. 

Today I was ready to quit

This was the first week of the strength building block of my training. My workouts have been at a higher heart rate and intensity than I have been doing. The rides are in the Endurance or Zone 2 and maintained for 1 to 2.5 hours. This was really tough to do but I did manage to complete them all this week. The runs have been Endurance or Tempo (Zone 3) for 45 to 1.5 hours. 

Yesterday I swam and rode for 2.5 hours. My legs are not sore, they just feel really fatigued. Today the schedule was 1hr 35mins Tempo pace. My legs were tired right from the start. I got to the first hill and had to walk up instead of run. Then I got going and managed to maintain my HR around 160-164. There was snow on the ground and it was -24c with the windchill. It was hard to get good footing. A few times I really wanted to stop running but just pushed on. Finally at 50mins, I just couldn't run anymore. My friends were no longer with me at this point. I really wanted to run but my legs just wouldn't go. It was the exact same feeling I had the first time I did GWN Half Iron and walked almost the entire 21.1kms. My quads just wouldn't move.

I felt like such a failure. This is WEEK ONE of actual training and I couldn't do it. How am I ever going to get through this upcoming week of full training when this week was a "light" week? While walking back, and running every once in a while, I kept thinking that this was only a glimpse of the pain I'm going to be in on race day. Then the doubts start in....am I really good enough to be Ironman? I've never really felt like an athlete and today I just felt like an imposter. After a few tears, I started to get logical...this is week one, of course you can't finish Ironman today, that's why you're training for it! This block is meant to push your muscles to their limits, that's how you get stronger. So it was a humbling experience to have the will to go but your body to tell you "not today."