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I haven't updated in a while because not much has really changed and I think Jordan is the only person left who still reads. I understand that it was way more interesting to follow the half iron and Ironman training than the collapse that has proceeded the Ironman DNF. I really feel like that DNF was meant to be a colossal life lesson that was going to make me a better person. It definitely gave me perspective on life balance and how much that kind of training interferes with things that are truly important. I thought I had made sense of it all and learned my lesson (while I still had a family and friends) but that dnf followed by a job lay off has seriously damaged my sense of self worth. I know logically that both events were the result of things beyond my control but I just can't seem to shake the feeling that I toppled from the top of the world.I went from being a student, full time employee, and triathlete to nothing. I know there is more out there for me, and coaching gave me a taste of doing something beyond myself, but right now I need to take care of my career and life. My motivation to do anything has completely hit the skids and now with a heel spur and a persistent sore back, I can't run or do crossfit. It's common knowledge that I exercise as much for my mental health as my physical so it's just a downward spiral. I know when this falls together - it's all going to fix itself quickly but right now there are times when I just can't see the light...