This is my journey from couch to athlete.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Burnout or change of heart?

No big news to report but here's an update...

Finishing up my courses this week and have thoroughly enjoyed learning Flash and Adobe Illustrator. I love the challenge of it and being creative gets my blood flowing. I'm really grateful I had the opportunity to take these courses and expand my skills. I am a little worried that the reality of not having a job is going to start to get me down again. Being in school gave me a focus and a distraction from job searching. I have still been looking but not getting down at the scarcity of positions in my field.

Two weeks from today I'll be congratulating each one of my clinic participants on becoming a triathlete! It's going to be an awesome day. Coaching the clinic has been very fulfilling. I received a flattering comment the other week, while we were training one of my clinic members says to me, "this is the best money I have ever spent!" It felt good to hear someone say that what I have provided was worth spending money on. Of course there are things I can do better next time but overall I'm happy with how the clinic has gone.

My physical health:
I still am not following any set training plan for anything. Two weeks ago I went out with my friends and ran 12kms. I surprised myself feeling so good even though I hadn't run that far in months. Then last week we ran 15kms; which went ok but my body was hurting at the end. My lower back, left ITB and knees were really sore by the end. The next day I felt tired and only had minimal muscle soreness. I know that 15kms was beyond the limit I am currently in shape for so I opted out of their 18km run today.

I have been riding 2-3 times a week, either with the clinic or trail riding. I LOVE trail riding! To me it's pure enjoyment. I have only been riding wide easy trails though. The other week I watched the Xterra world championships and felt this urge to race for the first time since Ironman. Then reality hit and I realized that my xc riding skills really aren't up to racing standards yet.

I have been slacking with the crossfit the last couple of weeks but am working on getting back on track because the results from these were definitely worth the effort. My arms and upper body have more shape and are much more toned and I notice the improved core strength in everything I do.

Following the eating plan fell apart after I was laid off. I still consider what I'm eating, how much and how often. I learned lessons that I will carry with me for a lifetime, even if I'm not tracking my food or following the plan to the letter. My weight is holding at 151, so I have been very careful not to put the 15lbs back on. For me it was always about something sustainable. Although, sometimes I do catch myself wishing for 6 pack abs etc. but I know the kind of diet discipline it would take to get there. I can feel the stomach muscles so I know they're there; I would have to drop all the fat for them to be visible though and I'm not willing to do that for vanity.

And now for the title of this post - burnout or change of heart?
I watched Coronation Tri the other week and the Xterra World Championships on tv. Both times I felt like I wanted to be out there racing. But once my logic kicks in and I start thinking about the training required to do those races I just shut down because I can't imagine living my life on a training schedule again. When I look back on my journey to Ironman all I remember is "having" to do all those workouts. Every day I had to swim, bike or run. Now I can't imagine living that way anymore. I like just doing whatever I want, when I want. I like being in good enough shape that I can go out and ride trails for two hours or go hiking without suffering. I like having the options and being able to enjoy activities because I have the fitness base.

I rolled over my Great White North entry but at this point I don't know if I even want to do it next year either. Someone once told me that burnout lasts about a year. Now I'm wondering if this is going to lift and one day I am just going to start feeling the urge to train and race again or if my attitude towards exercise really has changed forever????


  • At 9:19 AM, Blogger Running~Jordan said…

    I think burnout DOES last around a year... but I also think what it helps us do is re-evaluate what is important to us. Whether it's a return to the sport we burned out on or a complete shift in mindset and even priorities.

    What I admire about you, Kerry, is that your "burnout" (I prefer to say "challenging year") has not affected your family and when I get a chance to hang out with you I can see you are staying positive and ENJOYING life. That's so f'in cool :)

    I'm lucky to have you for a friend and I wish you all the best in your journey wherever it may lead you!


Post a Comment

<< Home