6 days to decide
I don't think I can count how many posts I've spent wondering whether I can finish this half ironman. Well here is another one...
I have 6 days to roll over my entry to next year. I'm sure there are many people on the waiting list that would be more than happy if I did. I can't explain how torn I feel on this. When I'm out on my bike I just don't feel strong, my legs feel tired and I'm not moving very quickly. I haven't put any real miles on my bike - I've done 3 rides around an hour each. After the swim session on Friday, I realized how much work I have to do in the water (a lot!) The thing that haunts me the most is the cut-off times. If I take an hour for the swim and 4 hours for the bike (which a lot of people have told me that it's taken them 4-4.5 hours to finish) then I only have 3 hours for the run. If I take the full 4.5 hours for the bike, I only have 2.5 hours for the run. I can't run a half marathon that fast on fresh legs, my current half marathon time is 2:54.
So where do I go from here? The only person that I know that doesn't believe I can do this is me. I'll admit I'm having an off day today so that may be contributing to my doubt, but part of me just feels so stressed about this that I'm not enjoying the training. Finishing this race would be one of the greatest accomplishments of my life so far. How do I get over this feeling of doubt and just give it all I have (and be happy with that, whether I finish or not)? One of my friends said if I roll over then I just gave myself another 12 months of worrying about it, and I know he is right. If I don't roll over, I have 10 weeks of stress. How do we balance between meeting our goals and keeping this fun and healthy? It's not supposed to cause me stress, I do this to relieve stress not cause more. Ok, all I've done is ask a bunch of questions I don't know the answer to-sorry to everyone who took the time to read it.
I have 6 days to roll over my entry to next year. I'm sure there are many people on the waiting list that would be more than happy if I did. I can't explain how torn I feel on this. When I'm out on my bike I just don't feel strong, my legs feel tired and I'm not moving very quickly. I haven't put any real miles on my bike - I've done 3 rides around an hour each. After the swim session on Friday, I realized how much work I have to do in the water (a lot!) The thing that haunts me the most is the cut-off times. If I take an hour for the swim and 4 hours for the bike (which a lot of people have told me that it's taken them 4-4.5 hours to finish) then I only have 3 hours for the run. If I take the full 4.5 hours for the bike, I only have 2.5 hours for the run. I can't run a half marathon that fast on fresh legs, my current half marathon time is 2:54.
So where do I go from here? The only person that I know that doesn't believe I can do this is me. I'll admit I'm having an off day today so that may be contributing to my doubt, but part of me just feels so stressed about this that I'm not enjoying the training. Finishing this race would be one of the greatest accomplishments of my life so far. How do I get over this feeling of doubt and just give it all I have (and be happy with that, whether I finish or not)? One of my friends said if I roll over then I just gave myself another 12 months of worrying about it, and I know he is right. If I don't roll over, I have 10 weeks of stress. How do we balance between meeting our goals and keeping this fun and healthy? It's not supposed to cause me stress, I do this to relieve stress not cause more. Ok, all I've done is ask a bunch of questions I don't know the answer to-sorry to everyone who took the time to read it.
posted by Kerry @ 5:01 PM
5 Comments:
At 5:40 PM,
Jordan said…
I don't have the answer either... I'm thinking there has to be a 'sports psychology' type of answer but I don't know it! ;-)
I know this sounds strange - but have you read 'The Inner Game of Golf'? If you can read it in the next six days it might help you do some visualization and get to a point where you are feeling ready:
"From Amazon.com
Long before Dr. Bob Rotella made tweaking a golfer's head as important as tweaking his swing, Tim Gallwey, who knew virtually nothing about the mechanics of the game when he penned the first edition of this visionary work, understood that even the best technique collapses when the mind cracks under the game's pressure. Gallwey's ultimate insight into the game was that a golfer's mind is a golfer's worst enemy; too much thinking only gets in the way.
The new edition of this groundbreaking instructional continues to preach such "Inner Game" fundamentals as trust, concentration, visualization, feel, and relaxation, and is full of what Gallwey calls "awareness exercises." Much of what he has to say seems obvious in a world in which most good athletes have some kind of psychological guru always at the ready to help improve performance, but Gallwey, with his bagful of anecdotes and encouragement, was one of the first to explore this uncharted territory, and still remains one of the most readable. --Jeff Silverman "
I still think you can do it :)
At 6:55 AM,
Kerry said…
Thanks Jordan! My husband keeps reminding me of the self-fulfilling prophecy. If I think I'm going to fail, then I am. I need a major psychological boost :)
At 7:10 AM,
Warren Footz said…
kerry, you've got 10 weeks, don't over think things, just train as best you can, and try and build up your miles, especially on the bike during that time. you know, maybe you haven't made the distances you need to, up unti now, but your training has been consistant, and this is a goal you obviously thought a lot about doing before signing up for the race, and your questioning yourself is also a sign that you really wanna get this thing done...so just build everything up, plan on just building up that base, don't woory about speed work, that'll come, just train your ass off, enjoy the weather, mark off the 10 weeks on a wall somewhere, and just do it.
i dropped out last year, and though at the time i thought it was the right thing to do, the week after i had my best training time ever...and have regretted that move ever since...and i'll admit too, that my training up this point hasn't been up to where it should be either, and this hay fever weather isn't helping things, but i know i'm gonna do the race, and will finish, even if i have to crawl to the finish line, or tie my bike up to someone elses rim...just remember roydon did this race, and have you seen him swim?
warren
At 8:11 AM,
Jordan said…
Oh yah! what he said ^!
At 7:12 AM,
Kerry said…
Thanks Warren! To be honest I didn't really think about signing up for this race, I listened to Steve who told me I can do it. I have to admit that everyone's faith in my ability is flattering-I just wish I could believe it.
Jordan-hehe, Warren and I run out of the same RR. He does know me and apparently knows exactly what to say to get me to back on track.
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